I picked up the magnificent turkey I special ordered at Super Deal. This supermarket tries to cater to the huge American contingent here in Jerusalem without being obvious about it. I did have to special order a whole turkey after all. With the 6.5 kilos of holiday bird loaded into my cart I joined the scavenger hunt already in progress for pumpkin pie ingredients. It's surprising the sense of community one gets gathered around the dairy section trying to collectively determine which little Hebrew laden container is the proper whipping cream for our Dessert Americana. That was one of several shopping excursions in preparation for our first Thanksgiving Feast beyond the land of Pilgrims, Indians, and the NFL.
Thanksgiving Day
We adopted a vagabond IT guy named Cory. He's a great guy from the consulate that arrived only about a month before we did and didn't have any plans for Thanksgiving. With his car still in bureaucratic limbo, I was more than willing to go pick him up at his German Colony bachelor pad Thursday afternoon as the turkey progressed to a glistening golden brown in the oven.
Jerusalem traffic is chaotic in the best and worst sense of the word. There is a degree of lawlessness that provides a driver with the freedom and convenience to, say, make u-turns whenever or wherever it suits you, ignoring other traffic, curbs, oneways, whatever. It's fun and entertaining. Of course, this driving philosophy tends to lead to the other extreme on the driving continuum; traffic patterns, or really, lack there of. Which brings me to my drive across town to pick up Cory. Why, on a Thursday afternoon at 2 pm, the city streets in entirety would be at a complete standstill, I do not understand. I do, however, understand that this level of congestion on old narrow roads is not the best circumstances in which to get a flat tire.
I had suspected something was wrong. The little rental Hyundai didn't quite feel right. But when the dude on the scooter pulls up to your passenger window and pantomimes the universal gestures for "Your tire is flat." you know you have a problem. At that point I was relatively close to Cory's and had no good place to pull over anyway. I decided to just get to his place and deal with it there.
I know how to change a tire. It's pretty easy really. Unless the tools your given don't work. The lug wrench, though the right size to fit the lug nuts on the wheel, was too fat to fit into the holes around the lug nuts. So I call the rental company:
"Sholom."
"Sholom. Hello. Do you speak English?"
"Yes. Of course." seemingly offended that I would even ask.
"I have a rental car with a flat tire and..."
"Flat tire is not insured. It is customer responsibility."
"Ok, that's fine. I'm trying to change the tire right now but we don't have the proper tools here."
"All tools should be there. Flat tires are customer responsibility."
"The wrench here doesn't fit. Do you not have some sort of roadside assistance that could at least bring us the correct tool."
"You should have the correct tool in the car."
"Well I don't."
"I can send someone with the tool but if they see you already have the tool we will have to charge you a service fee."
"Fine."
I then spend 5 minutes trying to explain where I'm at to her after which see just tells me that within a two hour time frame a guy will call me and I can give him directions. We get the car parked in a metered spot nearby. The meter's broken and steals my money. The guy calls and speaks English just slightly better than I speak Hebrew which made for fun direction giving until I mention that we're near the McDonald's. "Oh, the MacDonald. Yes. You go there. I send a guy there. His English not good as me." So I leave Cory watching a car with a flat tire at a broken meter so he can maybe explain away any parking tickets that come by. I meet the guy at the McDonald's and aggressively persuade him to come back to the car to make sure the wrench he's handing to me fits better than the one we already have. As soon as I confirm it fits he takes off, leaving Cory, Q, and I to finally take off the flat and put the State Fair mini-donut spare on. Two hours later we're finally on our way toward Thanksgiving Dinner... except traffic is still at a complete halt. Eventually we do make it home to an amazing meal that Kate made independently. The food was wonderful and it was great to have Cory over. I even got him home without incident.
Eid al-Adha
This morning Kate called Nassar, the motor pool guy, for a recommendation on where we should take the tire to get fixed. It turns out today is a major holy day for the Muslim population here. This made getting a tire changed in East Jerusalem impossible. I spent a good portion of the day following the wonderful local guard staff driving all over Jerusalem trying to find a place that was open. We did eventually find a place way out on the SW side of town.
Oh wait, one more thing
Last night Ozzi had a super-high fever. While I was running all over town getting a tire fixed, Kate was getting Ozzi to a doctor to find out he has a double ear infection... which explains why he was so pissed off on the decent down to the Dead Sea last weekend. He's on antibiotics now and already seems to be feeling better.
So, what am I thankful for this year?
- Nassar, the Local Guard Force, and everyone else here that has been so forcefully eager to help you with stuff that shouldn't even be their problem.
- The opportunity to live in such an amazing city with so many fun quirks, challenges, and new things to discover and learn.
- My wonderful wife that was able to put aside fear of bones in meat and actually carve the turkey by herself.
- Two happy and (relatively) healthy boys.
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